


Home

by wildwordwomyn



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Kissing, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-12
Updated: 2007-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-09 13:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwordwomyn/pseuds/wildwordwomyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is in love with Jensen but Jensen is not in love with Jared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home

At first Jared Padalecki's affections scare Jensen Ackles. Jensen is just not used to getting full-body hugs from people he meets. Especially other guys. But as time passes and Jensen sees that Jared is like this with everyone, that he simply has no concept of personal space, he rolls with it. Hugs back. Even in public. His hand, when he sees photos of them together, finds its way to Jared's heart automatically and he doesn't know why. Well, he does, but he won't say it. Not out loud. Not even under extreme duress. He will never tell anyone that Jared is the brother he always wanted, the best friend he'd yet to find, the lover constantly passing him by. Jared is home in a way nothing and no one else can be. And maybe, if he lets himself think about it, he could imagine them having a grand romantic love. But the truth is he doesn't want that. What he has is what he needs.

Only Jared, it seems, wants more. It becomes clear one night after too many Beam and Cokes and too many slow songs playing on the jukebox. He leans close, then closer, then too close to be considered appropriate, and plants a shy kiss on Jensen's cheek. Before either can blink Jensen is up off the stool, herding Jared out of the bar into cool midnight air. Instead of sobering Jared up it makes him tighten his hold around Jensen's waist.

"Jay, come on," he pleads. For what he's not sure.

"Love you, Jen," Jared slurs back.

"Yeah,well, you're drunk. And happy. Happy drunks love everyone."

"No. Love you special." To prove his point Jared kisses Jensen's cheek again.

Jared's breath is boozy and soft. He doesn't slobber when he does it thankfully. But Jensen feels no desire to kiss him back. This is a problem. Because if he could he would. He would love Jared so hard for so long that no other love in the history of loving could ever compare. He tries. He really does. But he comes up short. And Jared is too good for coming up short. So he makes a vow every day to be the best everything-else that he can be.

He gets Jared home in one piece. Shoves him into the apartment and strips him down to boxers. Then slowly, tenderly lays him in bed. Right as Jared passes out Jensen runs a light finger down the side of his face, smiling apologetically. He wonders if he should stay the night, watch over him. As always he nixes the idea as soon as it forms. He refuses to make the situation worse by giving Jared any false hope. He writes a quick note and lays it on the bedside table. When he leaves he locks the deadbolt behind him and takes a deep breath to steady himself. Once again, as he whistles and walks the four blocks home, he asks himself if he is doing what's right for both of them. Or if he is making the biggest mistake of his life…


	2. Home...continued...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared is stll in love with Jensen but Jensen is still not in love with Jared. Or is he?

Today bad news comes in spades. First Jensen learns that his brother, who married his high school sweetheart, is getting divorced from the same sweetheart that is having an affair with his boss. Then he finds out that his mom just had a breast cancer scare. Luckily the tests on her tumor are benign. For a second, though, his breath gets caught in his throat when he tries to exhale. Then the writers go on strike. They have a few new episodes already edited and ready to go, but he has no idea what will happen now. All he wants is to get as drunk as possible. He knows it'll only make him feel worse, but at least then he'll care more about getting rid of his hangover than where his life is about to lead him.

"You ready?" Jared asks when Jensen opens his door. It's 2pm and Jared has just caught Jensen in the midst of wondering which bars are open this early.

"Huh?" It comes out a lot dumber than he means. Too late to recall it. He stares at Jared, who, oddly enough, looks like Superman. Well, not Superman, but some kind of savior all the same.

"Grab some cash and your license. We're going out and getting drunk." Jensen hesitates, remembering how affectionate Jared becomes after a few hard drinks, then shrugs. He's had a really bad day and he needs the company. Jared's company.

"Sounds like a plan."

Jensen picks up his wallet and a jacket and sunglasses. He locks up and pockets his keys, then follows Jared to his Mustang convertible. They hop in and buckle up and they're off soon after. Within 15 minutes they arrive at a bar Jensen has never been to. But it's open and this is all that concerns him at the moment. They walk in, sit down at the bar, order shots of Cuervo and Bud chasers. They toast to their bad misfortune, then down the shots. Before Jared can protest or agree with the decision Jensen orders another shot and downs it. He settles in for the long haul. Or for Jared to carry him out of the bar in a fireman's hold. Whichever comes first.

When he wakes up the next morning it's 11:30. He's naked, cold, sweaty and queasy from the worst hangover of his life. He hears Jared in his kitchen. Panics. Tries to remember if he seduced Jared the night before, or if Jared finally succeeded in seducing him. Or if he had sex with anyone. Nothing comes forth. At all. He rolls over and groans, making his head hurt even more. Someone somewhere calls on God to kill them right now. He doesn't realize it's him until Jared walks in telling him there's no need for death. Just his grandfather's hangover remedy. Jared hands him a glass full of the Tabasco concoction that smells like a sewer and tastes like wet dog. Jensen swallows every drop, knowing in just a minute it will kick in and he'll feel like he belongs to the land of the living again.

"Thanks," he sighs, burping loudly when he hands the glass back to Jared.

"Yeah." He sits on the bed beside him, pulling the sheet up discreetly to cover certain bared body parts.

"Oh, speaking of that, where are my clothes?" Jensen pulls the sheet up higher to cover his chest. He doesn't want to tempt Jared too much if he can help it.

"You puked all over them. Had to wash 'em. They're sitting over there on your chair." Jensen turns slowly, gingerly, to look at the rocking chair by the bay window. His clothes are folded neatly in the seat.

"Thanks," he says again. Then grunts. "Jesus, my head hurts."

This isn't a request for a massage but Jared takes it as such. He sighs, raises his hands questioningly, waits to receive some kind of affirmation, starts to massage Jensen's temples. Jensen closes his tired eyes and smiles. He lays back without thinking, taking Jared with him. When Jared shifts he opens his eyes back up to see him hovering, staring down at him. Suddenly, no warning, no stopping, no pulling back, Jensen reaches up, wraps a shaky hand around the nape of Jared's neck and plants a soft kiss against his trembling lips. When Jared gasps he takes advantage and slips his tongue inside his mouth. This is when it hits him that what he's been doing, the thing he's been denying himself, is feeling awful right. It's not the alcohol still running thorugh his system or the fear of his family falling apart. It's the way Jared smiles, the way his fingers are light as his hands cup his cheeks, the strong, familiar feel of his weight. Jensen kisses Jared because he finally wants to. And he's thinking it's the best decision he's made in a long time…


End file.
